Deadwood Newspaper Humorous Sayings, Phrases, Idioms, Quotes, Quips, Jokes, Laughs 1800s

Deadwood Humor in the Newspapers 1877 - 1885

Barney, drunk, not liking looks of horse, shot it
Jul 23 1877
In regard to: Travis,

Man mowed hay in marsh and stacked, it sank in marsh
Jul 30 1877
In regard to: Pollock, George

Man bet $1,000 he could put horse on snow shoes
Mar 13 1878
In regard to: Manning, John

"Lets gyrate our hoofs a little", dance invitation
Mar 22 1878
In regard to: Black Hills

Talented and popular girl drunker than a boiled owl
Mar 30 1878
In regard to: Social

Dog of prominent man at door of notorious house
Apr 10 1878
In regard to: Deadwood

His dog chews tobacco, drinks whiskey and gets drunk
Apr 11 1878
In regard to: Stacey, Charley

"Here's Your Socks" he keep saying as he got drunk
Apr 12 1878
In regard to: Cloud, Oliver
In regard to: Old Sox

Says things are picking up, 3 shootings in 1 week
Apr 29 1878
In regard to: Shingle, George M.

Hung over pilgrim falls in Whitewood washing face
May 25 1878
In regard to: Deadwood

Person on a drunk referred to as on the night herd
Jun 08 1878
In regard to: Deadwood

Declared uglier than another, took picture as proof
Jun 10 1878
In regard to: Wright, Hank

Bug lodges in ladies bossom, sings all day
Jun 22 1878
In regard to: Women

Bottles in front of room tell about girls business
Jul 18 1878
In regard to: Women

Judge starts out early, falls asleep and off horse
Jul 24 1878
In regard to: Gaffy, Loring E.

Girl runs him around postoffice block with rock
Aug 08 1878
In regard to: Whitton,

Man must be awfully drunk to stumble on shadow
Aug 13 1878
In regard to: Deadwood

Industrious house fly never tires, early or late
Aug 16 1878
In regard to: Deadwood

Whistle costs too much if you wet it 15-20 times
Aug 20 1878
In regard to: Deadwood

Girl who wears a diamond ring has an itchy nose
Aug 20 1878
In regard to: Women

Very drunk man carried off to sluice box for cleaning
Sep 21 1878
In regard to: Deadwood

No wall poseys at dance, 15 ladies and 40 men
Oct 14 1878
In regard to: Ration Men to Women

Would vote for yellow dog over Jesus as republican
Oct 24 1878
In regard to: Clark, H.C.

Found cabin broke into, drunk woman in bunk
Nov 07 1878
In regard to: Nilson, Olans
In regard to: Shoenfield, Lew

Thief used horse and carriage, left them with note
Nov 08 1878
In regard to: Black Hills

Using juice of root, growing hair on bald head
Nov 15 1878
In regard to: Christie,

Boarder fell through floor onto dining room table
In regard to: Crawford, E.B.
Nov 21 1878

Has just celebrated his 85th, sour and crabbed as ever
In regard to: Carlyle,
Dec 31 1878

Sinful citizen snatches collection hat from deacon
In regard to: Carroll,
Jan 23 1879

Crop of curs is getting ripe, time for dog pelter
Jan 24 1879
In regard to: Deadwood

Tree falls on second cabin, fire destroys first
Jan 27 1879
In regard to: King,

"Pard, if this fixes me, the mule is yours."
Feb 26 1879
In regard to: Pard

Business painted advertisement on dog, let him go
Mar 01 1879
In regard to: Deadwood

Known as "fellow from away back with a yaller dog"
Mar 26 1879
In regard to: Winkle, Martin

"Grasshoper" on a drunk furnished amusement to all
Mar 28 1879
In regard to: Grasshopper
In regard to: Casper,

Women's fashion is killing to a man
May 17 1879
In regard to: Fashion

Fat girl in mans attire resembled steer on horse
Jul 22 1879
In regard to: Women

Kicked old hat on walk, foot healing, rock in hat!
Jul 08 1879
In regard to: Sutherland, Dave

Dog days make fat women perspire like Gen Sheridan
Jul 23 1879
In regard to: Women

If you can't remember name, call him Gen, Col, etc
Oct 14 1879
In regard to: Everyone has got to have a title

Woman in thin night dress chasing man with knife
Dec 02 1879
In regard to: Women

Dutchman swearing at lack of sour krout in Deadwood
Dec 02 1879
In regard to: Dutch

Coronet playing made dogs howl and Whitaker get gun
In regard to: Coleman, Nathan Judge
Oct 15 1880

Lawyer trying to prove King was born with black eye
Dec 17 1879
In regard to: Frawley, Henry

Coronet playing made dogs howl and Whitaker get gun
In regard to: Coleman, Nathan Judge
Oct 15 1880

To remain metroplis of fun and fashion when RR comes
Oct 14 1881
In regard to: Deadwood

House fly makes profanity a pastime of baldheaded
Feb 24 1880
In regard to: Social Comment

"Sausage" made of salt, dog, red flannel and turnips
Apr 27 1880
In regard to: Deadwood

Everyone at the races but editors, old women and dog
May 09 1880
In regard to: Deadwood

Keeping hat, paid $1 for it and only had it 4 years
May 20 1880
In regard to: Limber Jim

Had to walk home due to boil, boil was not on toe
Jun 24 1880
In regard to: Murphy,

Fly who tried to eat an ox when he attacked Meyer
Nov 02 1880
In regard to: McCormick,

Until recently, bachelors were denied buxom girls
Jan 08 1881
In regard to: Deadwood

Name of town is suggestive of death and desolation
Mar 09 1881
In regard to: Deadwood

Weather fickle as Deadwood politician or a good looking girl
Jan 25 1883
In regard to: Deadwood Weather

Extra blanket on bed and 2 extra sticks in the stove
Feb 03 1883
In regard to: Deadwood Weather

Marshal carries "pet" canary up street for exercise
Mar 16 1883
In regard to: Tyler, William Pitt

Entered the ring, too young, fainted dead away
In regard to: McFarland, W.J.
May 25 1883

Horse makes short work of "eastern" cowboy
Jul 21 1883
In regard to: Horse

Fierce kill-you-and-eat-you-up-if-you-look-at-me air
In regard to: Corkscrew Hank
Aug 03 1883

Marshal peeled prisoner, wearing 6 shirts, 4 pants
Sep 28 1883
In regard to: Tyler,

Has a bearskin overcoat that looks so natural when he marched down the street the dogs tried to eat him up, the noise stampeded a bull train, and the women and children thought the last day had come.
In regard to: Weatherspoon, James aka Limber Jim
January 4, 1884

A party of young and old from Golden Gate misunderstood the advertisement in the Times for Uncle Tom's Cabin and chartered a hack last Thursday night, and came to Deadwood. Great was their disappointment on finding their mistake. The hackmen like such mistakes.
In regard to: Theatre
In regard to: Hack Service
March 16, 1884

Among the many amusing incidents so prevalent during the early settlement of the Hills is the following, in which our old friend J. Lenk, the boss meat man of Central, was a conspicuous party: It was Sabbath, and all nature seemed as devoted in an observance of the fact as was Mr. Lenk and his interesting family, congregated in their family residence. Miss Lenk had stepped to a side door at the rear of the house and opened it, when she saw a man in an intoxicated condition approaching, over the trail leading down from the direction of the Pecacheo mine. She quickly stepped inside and closed the door, thinking the fellow would pass by but no. His signals at the door were unanswered, when he abruptly opened it as if to enter. Just at this important moment, a giant cap, that had accidentally got into the filling of Mr. L's pipe, exploded, shattered the bowl to fragments, lacerating his face badly, from which flowed a profusion of blood. Of course the universal verdict of the whole family and the invisble Joe Hook, who was present, was, that Mr. L. had been shot by the intruder. The inebriated individual shot into the street with all of the velocity possible, when so encumbered, supposing that he had been mistaken for the target in Mr. L's target practice. When conveniently remote from the house, he halted and supplicated his would be assassin "just to come out." In the house, steps for the arrest of the supposed culprit were being talked of, when the keen philosphy of Joe Hook solved the problem.
In regardto: Lenk, J.
In regardto: Hook, Joe
In regardto: Pecacheo Mine
In regardto: Central City
March 13, 1884

Butcher and saloon keeper of Brownsville battle for the hand of a Deadwood damsel. A butcher and a saloon keeper, of Brownsville, both were suitors for the hand of a Deadwood damsel. They became jealous, as a natural consequence, and, in a playful mood, the saloon keeper pulled one of the butcher's ears until the roots cracked. This made him made, and he turned in and everlastingly wolloped his adversary, winding up by hanging him up by the seat of his nether garments on one of the meat hooks in the shop.
In regard to: Brownsville.
April 15, 1884

Woman crashed through stagecoach floor.
In regardto: Transportation
July 8, 1885